Fionn mac Cumhaill
With size 47 shoes and an unbelievably foul temper, Fionn mac Cumhaill, or Finn McCool, was the biggest, toughest & most epic hero to ever roam Ireland.
Finn's old man lead the warrior band, the Fianna. But when he abducted the daughter of a druid, that didn't go over well with the High King who promtly had him executed. #MeToo! Baby Finn was then secretly raised by his aunt, Bodhmall the druid, and the fighting woman Liath Luachra in the forest of Sliabh Bladma.
While studying in the forest under yet another druid, Finnegas, Finn cooked up the Salmon of Knowledge. Cutting his thumb, Finn popped it into his mouth... thereby acquiring all the knowledge in the world. No final exams required!
Finn then set out for the capital where the monster Aileen the Burner lulled its citizens to sleep every year with a flaming harp solo, then burned the town to the ground. Finn arrived armed with his father’s bag of magical weapons, a giant chip on his shoulder, and all the knowledge in the world. Finn's totally bad-assed solution? He kept himself awake by touching a magically red-hot spear to his forehead, then pursued and killed Aillen. The High King, not wanting to tangle with the large, crazy Celt, promptly gave Finn command of the Fianna.
Finn lead the Fianna to victory in battles against everything from Viking marauders to armies of underworld goblins. He threw epic parties. He killed his own nephew in an argument over a girl. He owned a pair of battle dogs and married a goddess who could turn into a deer. He defeated the Celtic God of War in single combat. He created the Giant's Causeway by throwing rocks from Ireland to Scotland so that he could fistfight a giant. And he created the Isle of Man, Rochall, and Lough Neagh by hurling a giant chunk of Ireland at a rival.
He was Ireland's Most Interesting Man.
Songs are still sung in his honor. Like The Legend of Finn McCool by the Dropkick Murphy's.
Here at the pub, we think Finn was pretty awesome.
Today,he sleeps in a cave surrounded by the Fianna. But Finn will arise again and defend Ireland when the Fianna's hunting horn, the Dord Fiann, is sounded three times.
Faugh a Ballagh!